She was 19 and he was 21. She just graduated high school and was working to save so money so she could ultimately attend the local community college. She had dreams of owning her own nail salon. He took construction jobs whenever available and had thoughts of being a site manager. They were both good Catholics so they used the rhythm method for birth control.
Then she got pregnant.
They struggled with what to do. They were too intimidated to go to their priest so, instead, they talked to a friend or two and some family members. Ultimately, they decided to have an abortion. At the time, she was nine weeks pregnant. It was a very sad occasion for both of them but neither could envision how they could raise a child on their income and cringed at the thought of sending their child to a public school in the Bronx. She knew, of course, that she could put the baby up for adoption but could not imagine carrying the child until birth then handing it over to another family. She did not want to spend each day wondering what her child was doing in some other part of the country. It was all a very sad occasion but they did what they thought was best at that moment.
Nine years later, things had changed. They made their way out of the Bronx and started making a comfortable living in Pennsylvania. She was a civil servant and he ran a local hardware store. Then, she became pregnant again. And this time they had their baby.
After giving birth, she started thinking more about her abortion and a transformation of sorts took place. She started thinking that if she had had that first child maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe there could have been a way for her to finish college and turn things around. She couldn’t stop saying to herself: “what if?” She started reading pro-life literature and discovered resources for women who had come to regret their abortion. She dove in head first, joining organizations and attending rallies.
Like the others who had had similar experiences, she never went out and said that abortion should be a crime, that we should throw women and the doctors in jail for participating in the procedure. No, their approach was more subtle than that, on its face more “caring.” Because they knew that women knew absolutely nothing about their reproductive lives, they merely wanted to talk to them about the affects of abortion, the dangers. They just wanted women to know the “truth.” Their compassion for these women was dripping off the walls.
Of course, they never talk about the millions of women who have had abortions and who, dare I say it, are actually okay today! They don’t’ talk about the person in my family who over the course of 12 years had two abortions and today has the
most amazing family. Yes, in private conversations she will admit that she might think about the two abortions at times, but only fleetingly. It certainly has not affected her to the point where she wants to go out and join some pro-life organization or seek counseling. No, we can’t talk about those women.
Make no mistake about it – these women who have had abortions and now say they are total basket cases have one goal in mind – to make abortion illegal in this country once again. They want to back to the days when women, despite the laws, sought out abortions, often with disastrous consequences. Don’t let the sweet talk fool you. In the back of their minds, they are thinking: “You are killing a baby, my dear” but they will sugarcoat it by dangling before you the prospect that you will be totally paralyzed with guilt for the rest of your life if you get that abortion.
The irony, of course, is these women who now regret their abortion, including the one above, actually had an abortion! They made the decision based on their moment in time, based on whatever information they could gather. And this morning, there is a woman who is facing the same situation.
I have absolutely no problem if that pregnant woman wants to read volumes of pro-life literature. She can go, if she wants, to a crisis pregnancy center and talk to their “counselors.” The more information (if truthful), the better for her decision making process.
But, make no mistake about it. Behind all the nice talk and the offers of assistance, the bottom line is that these women who now regret their abortions thought they were doing the right thing at the time. And they now want to take away that decision making process from the hundreds of thousands of women each year who are in the same position.
- Surprise! Crisis Pregnancy Centers Don’t Separate Education, Religion (hayladies.wordpress.com)
- All Pro-life Today 7/26/2011 (deaconjohnspace.wordpress.com)