Several days ago, a federal judge ruled that the “Choose Life” plates in North Carolina were unconstitutional because the state legislature did not offer a pro-choice version of the plates for motorists to purchase. In his ruling, U.S. District Court Judge James C. Fox explained that North Carolina could not sell the pro-life license plates because “The state’s offering of a ‘Choose Life’ license plate in the absence of a pro-choice plate constitutes viewpoint discrimination in violation of the First Amendment.”
I hate to say it – and I’m no lawyer – but I’m not sure if I agree with this guy, even though it’s a good decision for us pro-choicers.
It seems that the North Carolina state House voted 68-44 to offer the “Choose Life” plates. To obtain one, you just had to pay a $25 fee then $15 would be sent to local anti-abortion crisis pregnancy centers. Also, a minimum of 300 people would have to sign up for the pates before they could be sold statewide to all motorists (so we don’t waste the prisoner’s time). During the debate, pro-choice folks did have an opportunity to get their own plates saying “Respect Choice,” but those efforts were rejected.
I’m as pro choice as they come, but I am also a hard core political person and the fact that the elected officials decided to not give the pro-movement their license plate is, well, just plain ole politics. We lost – fair and square. The simple matter is that most of these kinds of issues just come down to who has the votes. The pro-choicers tried and they lost. Now, it would be different if the Department of Motor Vehicles on their own just decided to issue the anti-abortion plates, then we’d have a better argument. But there were several votes and we lost. And that’s why our focus should be electing more pro-choice legislators.
Meanwhile, I’d like to add that it drives me crazy that we tried to get a license plate that uses the same old slogan: “Respect CHOICE.” I can’t prove it, folks, but I continue to believe that many people in this country don’t even know what “Choice” means anymore. One of the credit cards that I use has a commercial saying “You Have a Choice.” My local bank does the same. I continue to believe that one of the reasons why abortion, yep, I said the word, remains so stigmatized in this country is that we are afraid to say the word. And when we say it, we whisper it. Until supporters of “choice” start getting more comfortable with the abortion procedure, we are going to continue to lose support. So, the next time someone tries to get a license plate issued, go for it. I would be the first to buy a plate that says “Abortion Rights!”
December 16, 2012 at 8:20 pm
Very good point about the word “choice.” I agree that we should not be afraid to say the word abortion. Pro-choice is out-dated and wishy-washy. I prefer “I support a woman’s right to have an abortion.”
I am not by any means an out spoken person on this issue. I have had more than one abortion and it’s taken me years to not feel guilty about it. But, I have no reason to carry guilt and shame. Abortion is legal and it is my right. This past election was the first time I revealed my support of a woman’s right to an abortion. Surprisingly, no one asked me if I’d ever had one which was always my fear so I wouldn’t speak out. With age comes wisdom and this year I am learning to let go of other’s judgements and criticisms. If I had been asked the question I was prepared to stick up for myself by either explaining why I made the choices I did or proclaiming, “my body is not public property and what I do with it is my business.”
Daylily
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December 17, 2012 at 7:05 am
Daylilly,
I love that you have let go of other’s judgments. From Heddon W. Robinson, came a thought that I’ve found to be spot on.
“What worries you, masters you.”
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December 17, 2012 at 1:41 pm
If you dont mind, Daylilly, why did you feel guilty? Did you feel guilty because you had more than one? Was your upbringing somewhat conservative? Would love to hear more from you if you want to talk.
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December 17, 2012 at 11:08 pm
I found myself pregnant as a senior in high school. I was a rebellious, anxious, depressed and confused teenager who was trying to find her way. I didn’t know what I wanted and the prospect of caring for an infant was overwhelming. I did not want to be pregnant. It happened because I was having sex before I was ready to speak out and insist on contraception. The guy should have put a rubber on or I should have taken the time to put my diaphragm in. In the heat of the moment neither of those things occurred. I was too unsure of my sexuality to insist and every man I’ve ever met has refused to wear condoms because “it doesn’t feel as good.” I became pregnant and scared for my future. Fortunately, my mom is a strong feminist and offered me the choice to have an abortion. I cannot tell you the immediate relief I felt that I would not have to become a mom at 17.
The women in my family are college educated professionals (in fact my grandmother went to Oberlin College which was the first college to admit women into a man’s college as well as the first to educate African American men and women.) You might say the women in my family had ambition and goals beyond being a wife and mother. I also had my own vision of graduating and having a career before beginning a family.
So, I didn’t really feel guilty about the abortion because my mother supported that option and helped me through the experience. I felt my reasons for an abortion were legitimate and I’ve always felt strong in my views of women’s rights.
The guilt and shame come from earlier experiences stemming from childhood sexual abuse. I grew up hiding behind a shameful secret and because of that early conditioning I didn’t learn how to properly talk about my body or sexuality. I was embarrassed and having a discussion about contraception or abortion would hit too close to the feelings of shame and guilt I had due to sexual abuse. I’d guess this sense of shame is not uncommon since many girls are raised to not celebrate or acknowledge their sexuality. Throw in the high rate of women who are sexually abused and you end up with many women carrying unnecessary guilt. I’ve never thought about this before but it makes sense to me because I know my story is not unique.
I chose the path that was right for me. I knew one day I wanted to raise a baby in a family that was stable, selfless and could provide consistency and structure. But, one must also keep in mind that no woman has the same exact story because we all have different life experiences. Another woman in my situation may have chosen to keep her pregnancy. And I would support her right to do so as much as my right to have an abortion.
In fact, around the same time, a girlfriend of mine found herself pregnant. She told me she wanted to get pregnant to catch this guy. She never uttered the word abortion, instead at 17 her family encouraged her to get married to the guy that didn’t really love her, move out of her family’s house and go live with the guy’s family and raise her baby. She and this guy ended up having three children and eventually divorced because they got married for all the wrong reasons. I vividly recall that she left behind aspirations of becoming a nurse and instead took the path her parents expected. Get pregnant, get married and get out of their house.
Meanwhile, my family helped me through the next four years while I obtained my bachelor’s degree and then secured a professional job and permanently moved out to live on my own. This is what I wanted and I’m grateful that abortion was available as a personal, private decision. I’ve released the guilt from years of healing work around my past and I am learning to speak out about my body and my rights regarding it.
This was probably much more than you asked for but I hope it was somewhat informative and interesting!
♥Daylily
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December 18, 2012 at 3:50 am
Daylily…it was a wonderful response!! As a women that had an abortion in the late 60’s before they became legal….there were a number of years that I kept that most private decision to myself!! Because it is such a personal & private matter! Thank you for sharing your story…
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December 18, 2012 at 7:59 am
Thank you. I can imagine the need you felt to keep it private. I’m so glad the laws have changed. This was back in the eighties for me so I was fortunate that abortion had become legal.
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December 19, 2012 at 9:08 am
So, Lorraine, you had an illegal abortion? Would you mind giving us more detail? I think it’s vitally important for the younger people to know what it was like in those days. It would be great if you shared the story again as we continue to get new readers…
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December 19, 2012 at 9:07 am
Thank you so much, Daylilly, for sharing that story with us. I’m curious: when you got the abortion, did anyone go with you? Do you have children today?
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December 20, 2012 at 8:34 pm
I had 2 abortions so I will answer your question about who was with me for both. The first abortion was at Preterm Clinic in Cleveland OH. My mother supported me and drove me to the clinic. Before the procedure she and I went to the Cleveland Art Museum so I have a fond memory of mother/daughter time. I was scared but I was more anxious about being pregnant and what that would mean if I had an infant at 17 years old. My mom was my strength. I don’t have too many memories but I vividly recall me and my mom together in the waiting room. There was a diverse group of women and no one else had their mother with them. When I was first called I went into a room to speak with a counselor and my mother didn’t join me. They asked if I knew what I was about to do. I said I did. Then I was told that it was not too late to change my mind if I had any doubts. I spoke confidently that this is what I wanted. I was counseled on contraceptive. I was well taken care of by the many caring people at the clinic and by my mother. There isn’t any lasting trauma from that experience.
The second abortion was in Brookline MA at one of the clinics that in 1994 became well-known for the senseless killing of 2 receptionists. I had my second abortion in 1983 when I was 20 years old. I was a sophomore in college and dating my husband-to-be. He was also pursuing his college degree and we mutually agreed that abortion was a good choice for us at that time. Husband accompanied me to the clinic and there was nothing eventful. The only memory is one of a protester handing me a pamphlet with a horrifying image of a bloody baby. I felt disturbed by that image and creeped-out by the person who handed it to me because he deliberately was trying to scare me. It shook me up and to this day I despise the tactics of anti-abortion protesters.
My husband and I have 2 children. Our first arrived when I was 35 and the next when I turned 38. We went through a few years of infertility. I never doubted the safety of my abortions because they were both without incident and the recovery time was fast. I did worry early promiscuity and several STD’s could have affected my ability to conceive. I will never know because the diagnosis was “unexplained infertility.” I conceived son #1 through our first IVF and then our second child was conceived naturally. I honestly believe that God had a plan for me. I wasn’t ready for children until I healed deep childhood wounds from childhood sexual abuse. I needed to do this in order to be the best parent I could be. When my kids were born I devoted my life to them. My husband and I were emotionally and financially stable and we could provide a stable, secure and loving environment. My fondest memories and those I will most cherish are the years I was a stay-at-home mom. ♥ Daylily
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December 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm
The point of using the word ‘choice’ (and this is only my opinion) is that it respects the personal decision of a woman whether she chooses to have a child or end a pregnancy. The word ‘abortion’ is emotionally charged, although in strict medical terms it means ANY pregnancy that ends before a live birth. So, in medical terms, that which we sentimentally refer to as a ‘miscarriage,’ is technically an abortion. While I hesitate to draw the inevitable politics into the discussion, it surprises me that those so sure of ‘eternal life’ are so blatantly against anything that ends or prevents it from occuring, whether it be abortion or the mythic ‘death panels’ that the far right fundamentalist Christians accused the Affordable Care Act of creating. There is power in language. People learn how to use language to push each other’s buttons. The important thing is to remember that we have the right to follow our personal convictions and make personal, medical decisions for ourselves.
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December 19, 2012 at 9:12 am
I hear what you are saying, Carol, but as one who had worked in the movement for about twenty years, I know choice is more politically palatable but it’s become so watered down. As I said, I’m not sure how many people even know what it means these days.
The fact is that while we support “choice,” it also means that if a woman wants an abortion we would support that option. And that option is the one that generates all the controversy. And, yet, we run away from even talking about that option, which over one million women a year utilize. We have to try to make people comfortable with abortion – a difficult task for sure. But we’ll never get there until we start using the word. It’s like years ago, the word “divorce” or “gay” would always be heard in whispers. And look how things have changed. The bottom line is “abortion is okay.”
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December 17, 2012 at 5:44 pm
I like the fact that you understood the basis of control in society, if schools can expel a kid for having sex, then they can easily control the passing of a bill.
I have been reading this blog for some time now and really like the positions you take, while you have to back this position, when it comes to politics you are pretty fair in my opinion, * giving concession to Dunkle. But I have to ask, Pat, why dont you go into politics?
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December 19, 2012 at 9:17 am
Wow, Smith, your words are very kind. I’ve always tried to be fair. I just very frustrated when people dont think aloud, when they just take the cues from the national organizations and resort to bumper sticker language. Most issues are not just black and white, especially abortion. And when I worked at the National Coalition of Abortion Providers, I did ruffle some pro-choice feathers because I did not always follow the party line. I even met regularly with pro-life leaders, which really ticked off my friends. But abortion is complicated, especially when you’ve seen a 22 week fetus about to be aborted. Still, I trust women to make the right decision for themselves.
As for politics, I’ve been tempted and asked in the past to run for certain seats here in Virginia. Indeed, I was about to run for the Fairfax County Board of Supervisors but the aged incumbent shocked everyone when he decided to run again at the age of 74. Oh well.
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December 18, 2012 at 4:23 am
I believe if a state offers a plate that supports the position of a “hot button” issue like “Respect Life”…and then will give a portion of the $$ that the state receives to the “pregnancy crisis centers”…then the state should have to also offer a plate that says “respect a women’s choice” and give the same portion of funds to the pro-choice groups in the state!!
When the “Respect Live” plate issue was given the go ahead in SC a judge stepped in and ruled that’s the way it would be!!! The plate was never made because the anti’s did NOT want to contribute to pro-choice groups!!!
But I can tell you that when I put a bumper sticker on my car that simply stated…PRO-CHOICE….I had my car keyed…”badly” within “2” days and I expect that the “nut balls” would do the same!! When the first “Respect a woman’s Choice” plates appeared!! The state getting into that emotionally charged issue should just offer both sides and let the “citizens” decide!!!
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December 19, 2012 at 9:19 am
And in this case, Lorraine, I felt the citizens did have a chance to decide because their elected representatives actually voted on the pro-choice option. It sucks that we lost, but that’s politics. It’s a contact sport and we need to keep electing pro-choice people.
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December 18, 2012 at 10:22 am
Finally, the possibility of equality in “plate” messaging!
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December 19, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I am not sure how i feel about this plate thing… because with so many lunatics out there, can you imagine if one of them see me with a plate stating that i am pro choice and come after me… I would never express my opinion like that… Too many crazy people…
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December 19, 2012 at 6:00 pm
Exactly what i was thinking sonia.
And pat, I totally understand, but you might still have a shot you never know.
it is just as though sonia put it as though she is scared to represent something she faithfully understands as true, and with conceding judgement cannot forgo putting a license plate on your car. But the true fact is that we as a group of people need to stand up to this mediocrity people call a political stance
There is a line drawn between right, wrong, and the blatant ideology that brings such malice to society.
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